© copyright 2005 Betsy L. Angert
Yesterday, I was speaking with a friend. She is involved with a man that has an admitted fear of intimacy Some might say that this is a line, and yet, I wonder. I would ask, do we not all fear true intimacy? The two have been friends for years, though now that they have decided to become more involved, they realize that they are each guarded. When together, they gel. They are able to communicate their truest feelings. Yet, they remain hesitant. She says she wants more, still she wonders.
The two have often spoken of how they share values and interests. They are comfortable with each other. They acknowledge that s/he is exactly what they would want in a mate and a life partner. They each have expressed aloud, "My family would love you." S/he wants to raise a family their own.
My friend, let us call her Leslie asks, "Why does he not commit? Why would he not wish to be happy?"
I reply, asking her, "Have you ever wanted to lose weight and did you "just do it'" I inquire, "Have you ever been interested in a man, a career, or adventures and yet not pursued him, it, or them? If you did pursue, did you do so whole-heartedly?" The look on her face was my answer. She had and she had not. Her own emotions, misgivings, doubt, and fear got in the way.
Leslie is not alone; we all want what we believe will bring us happiness. At times, we are certain that changing our physical appearance, pursuing a person, traveling down a career path, or indulging in an adventure or two will be our answer. These "things" will bring us happiness. They may or may not. We wonder; have our past pursuits consistently brought us pleasure. We worry, possibly not on the surface, not in a manner that is evident to others, for we wish to project an image of strength. Nonetheless, we are anxious.
We weigh the pros, the cons, we might even make a list, and ultimately, we resist change. There are those that do change or at least appear to. "Transformation" is their constant companion. They too are looking for happiness. These audacious souls are seeking joy and they too are skeptical; where will they find it and what will it bring. They go looking, constantly!
|
Subscribe to Site [RSS]
